A holy week's worth of meat

Yet another post which has this useless title!

Greetings, fellow bloggers! I bid you a great day ahead of you! 

This post is intended to glorify the great feeling I have for being employed in this company.

That is due to this!

HAH! A new android phone! I know it’s not much for people like you who can afford a nice phone, because you are all rich bastards. But this thing right here is another reason why I have to work hard, and not fall asleep during work, and please these wretched clients!

Let this post be some sort of lousy unboxing of this magnificent beast (charot) of a phone. 

Galaxy Y (for Young, because really, that’s what I’m feeling right now~ Fetus Young)

Specs:

- Quadband

- TouchWiz

- All that other technical shit which I don't care about as of the moment

- 2MP CAMERA!!! FOR INSTAGRAM!

Jsyk, Instagram is the first app that downloaded and installed on this phone. But don’t you worry, I promise to take photos of magnificent, interesting, and funny things that will keep wanting for more Instagram posts from me.

Absolutely no food photos, you guys. I have Kath to do that for us. What do you think of me, chicks? Sus.

Meanwhile, here’s a photo of my breakfast.

TAKEN WITH INSTAGRAM, MUTHAFUCKA! With the 2nd filter used, whatever that is.

Back to the unboxing!

Included with this package are four back panels to choose from! If you ever get tired of having the same phone everyday, just swap over the other colored back panels and BAM! New phone baby!

I chose pink/fuschia/hot pink color to represent my inner diva.

Moving on with the unboxing (more of like unplastic-ing since the box was only shown once)

Actual unplastic-ing shown above

Half unplastic-ed

Fully unplastic-ed

Whoopsies! Front plastic cover removed! I hate to do this on new phones, since I consider the plastic as protection (same as how a condom would protect my penis), but since the screen would be pretty much useless (like my penis) if the plastic is there (duh, can’t scroll on the screen), I had to remove it to be a part of yet another byproduct that causes global warming.

Aaaaand, here it is! Galaxy Y for all of you!

JOKE ONLY! I KNOW, I DON’T DO THAT TO YOU, RIGHT? Here is the actual product being turned on as of the moment (like many of you teenagers always are)

First order of business on the new phone: Create an #Instagram account

YEHEYYYY! USERNAME NOT TAKEN! YOU LOSE, MEXICAN/HISPANIC MAN OF THE SAME NAME!!!

So maybe we can be friends on Instagram, eh? Promise, you’ll see the best 2MP phone photography on my account!

Username: marianojuancho

And so, here’s to a photo-filled year for me provided that I don’t lose the phone one drunken night (which happens often).

Yay! New phone! I love you, office!

Dramatic Explanation Needed

I have recently received an NTE (Notice To Explain) document from my superiors.

The so-called document aims to extract explanations from you, to save your ass from the intelligent mistakes that you did. Well, it's not really intelligent, I just want to make myself look good.

More so, the NTE document contains details about divulging critical information to a client, which is a violation of the security and Code of Conduct agreement that we employees have with our company .

The violation of such agreement may result to termination, dismissal, blah blah blah, and all that losing-a-job thing.

And fortunately, explaining is what I am sarcastically good at! Also, pissing off people.

So, at the effect of delivering a dramatic excuse, I came up with the following reasons:

• I am working as a double agent and what I did will benefit the company more, rather than to destroy it.
• I am high at the time that the particular information was provided to the client.
• I do not care about my job, I care about the client and their satisfaction. This can result to the emotional delivery of the lines "I do not care about my job sir, I care so much more about our clients. *googly eyes here*".
  
• Fuck the rules, and the world is to end this year and the Code of Conduct is a conspiracy that intends to manipulate the minds of the free-thinkers in the office.
  

And so, with the help of my great grammatical skills, I shall construct a statement that is as dramatic as Budoy’s story line. With the exclusion of Jessy Mendiola, of course.

So far, the best statement that I've got is this: "I acted, not with the best decision at hand, but with the best intentions for the client's interests."