2012 in Bullets

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Alternative Medicine

So, the industry of alternative medicine just reached an all-time low. I've been hearing about fetuses being turned into soup or something edible years ago. I guess the idea never really died and they just reinvented the use of babies as medicine by turning them into easily consumable pills.

Here's the story.

I don't know if this has got to do with the old belief that consuming a weaker prey grants you vitality of some sort (you know, something like Highlander) and gives you youth.

So is it possible that all these news about babies being stolen, is related to this pill industry?

Can't they just think of anything else? Plants have always been good to us and they don't really have emotions or souls (I think), so it's best that we turn them into pills. But babies? Babies have googly eyes and they make cute noises when they are on a good mood. Sure, they piss and shit a lot and keep you up at night but still, these babies may be the next Mila Kunis or Freddie Mercury so spare them of their pill fate.

R.I.P. X-Deal

I lost my cat
Just as he was getting fat
He turned into a splat
Of blood and spilled gut
He ran out of the house
Under the car he went
The owner did not know
He crawled under the car
Behind the front tire
The driver sped away without knowing
That my cat was about to be flattened
Happily playing, he was
A minute ago
Then the next his brains were all over the floor
And later that afternoon
He's at the creek's bottom
How I missed my cat
I never got to see him grow fat

Super Douche

While I am on my way to work, the night of August 16, I heard on the news that COMELEC had more than 5M pesos of furniture budget for their rest house in Baguio. Majority of the costs were due to the customized bed that they had ordered from Angeles, Pampanga (that what I thought I heard). These beds cost around ~91K each. The rest of the money was used for curtains, and probably at some kind of device or process that killed the logic and conscience out of the people in charge of this shit.

The news is so annoying that I was putting on an ugly face the whole time I was listening to it. I never put on an ugly face since that is so hard for someone as pogi as I am.

Aside from that news, I also heard that one of the officials of COMELEC threatened to quit if the requested budget was not approved by the government.

Fuck this government, hard. In the ass. With a bread knife.

That's just not right, like super-douchebag-type of not right. Think of all the families that this amount of money could have fed. Think of all the children it could have sent to school.

And this is certainly not the kind of information that you would want to here after a calamity struck down your place.

COMELEC needs to straighten out its priorities. Hard. In the ass. With a bread knife.

That Unnamed Monsoon

Finally, the flood and this god-forsaken storm weather somewhat subsided and I am thankful that I didn't have to go through what we had for Ondoy. Why? Because I don't have the resources to recover from another one of that muddy, flood-y ordeal.

I was lucky enough to be allowed to work from home, which would not be possible at my old office. I'd rather work from home, than skip work at all. I'm at home, I earn, the team will have its needed manpower - everybody wins.

And so all that hard rainfall turned out to be the another Ondoy in the making.

My Twitter account at that time was running wild with information, rants, and all sorts of emotions from everyone. It's like a fully packed longganisa, except that it's not wrapped in pig's intestine.

Going home was quite easy from Taguig to Ortigas. Everything seemed so relax. Perhaps it's because it's 1PM and no one left for work that morning, and every one from the night shift had gone home earlier than noon.

Ever Gotesco Ortigas was the last stop of the FX that I have, like, made para. And at that point, I already know the reason. Of course, none other than flood.

I don't know, maybe it's the kid or the adventurer within me that had me walking that flooded path. I had the choice to wait for a bus (which passed by as I am already walking in knee-deep of water), but I didn't. I just had to roll up my shorts and sink my thighs into the water, while holding my umbrella and preventing my work-laptop from getting wet.

I saw a couple of motorcycles force their way through the flood, but ended up getting off their bikes and pushing. That, I guess, is what you get when you take your time walking through the flood. You see stories - Of stupidity, of fun and laughter, and of despair. Nobody wants their homes to be soaked.

I checked the path that I took on Google Maps, and here it is.

Perhaps I should have brought my man-kini the night before this all happened. 

Bigger image size, if you are interested:

I got home with minimum damage and a bag full of McDonald's treat for mom and Kath.

That night, was of course different. More emotions filled Twitter as if it is competing with the amount of rainfall that we've been getting.

I was getting a bit worried of the water rising too fast for us to raise our things to the house's 2nd level. We were conserving our energy so we just dumped everything in the living room.

The "Ilog Bandong", a creek that was already overflowing, is located at the end of our street. If it rises, the flood in front of the house rises with it. So it sucks being a resident of our village, at that particular street.

Good thing it didn't.

Anyway, here's some of the pictures taken with Kath's camera.

This is Steve and his hush puppy. The dog was crying and does not want to be left alone so he decided to  bring him along. What a bitch, that dog.

Yes, the owner left his truck to drown.

This was water was probably chest-high if you sat down on that street.

You can check out Kath's blog for her own flooded story.

The house is a mess but everything is back to it's normal state. Apart from an indoor pool that the flood caused (the back part of the house was the lowest part and water seeped through the cracks of the walls), we were pretty good.

I just hoped that this is to never happen again. Ever. To the Philippines.

Uncle John's Chicken

Have you ever experienced a time where you open the ref for no apparent reason? You're not hungry or you just headed to the kitchen to grab a spoon, and you decided to open the fridge even if you already know that there's nothing to see but frozen meat and left overs. And you already know this, because you've been peeking into the same fridge numerous times in the day.

Well, I am a fan of that habit. I don't know why I do it. Maybe it's for the cold breeze of the fridge, or I am subconsciously wishing that I'll see something that I like.

I just do it out of habit, or instinct, perhaps.

And I happen to also do this habit with convenience stores. Not only the fridge on convenience stores but the store itself.

Almost every night (at an average of two or three times a week), I drop by a MiniStop or a 7-11 store even if I am not hungry and I do not have anything to buy.

I just walk in there, check the chicken, the hotdog, the Siopao, look around, look at the chips and alcohol, then leave.



Heck, I bet that if there's a new employee on that store, they'd think that I am the manager or a store checker because I do rounds at least twice before I leave the store with no purchases made.


I just feel a certain satisfaction by doing this. It is as if I can sleep soundly at night without the day's burden on me.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?

What happened in Baguio

This is an elaborate post about that wedding trip that we did to Baguio.

We ate. We slept. We got drunk (not so much). We ate some more.
Walked. Bought yam and strawberry jam.
Ukay-ed for Kath's bag.
Ate some more at the wedding.
Slept.
Prepped up for the trip home.
Bought another set of sweets from the city market.
Walked far too many walks due to traffic.
And we went home.
I enjoyed it so much, I decided to keep the details to myself!

Quick Update

...
... . . . .............zzzzzZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOM!

OMG did you see that! That was fast, wasn't it?

Lame.
Haven't got anything new aside from my new job, but I don't have the juice to compose stories about it yet. Also, my trip to Baguio is another story, yet nothing to remember it by but it gave me realizations.

Also, I was suppose to write something about being tired of everything about working and I was also suppose to include a post from The Margarita Queen but I can't find the post yet, so that's another task for another day.

I am currently updating this blog from my work laptop, through Market! Market!'s philanthropic WiFi signal.

And this concludes today's quick update.

Dramatic Explanation Needed

I have recently received an NTE (Notice To Explain) document from my superiors.

The so-called document aims to extract explanations from you, to save your ass from the intelligent mistakes that you did. Well, it's not really intelligent, I just want to make myself look good.

More so, the NTE document contains details about divulging critical information to a client, which is a violation of the security and Code of Conduct agreement that we employees have with our company .

The violation of such agreement may result to termination, dismissal, blah blah blah, and all that losing-a-job thing.

And fortunately, explaining is what I am sarcastically good at! Also, pissing off people.

So, at the effect of delivering a dramatic excuse, I came up with the following reasons:

• I am working as a double agent and what I did will benefit the company more, rather than to destroy it.
• I am high at the time that the particular information was provided to the client.
• I do not care about my job, I care about the client and their satisfaction. This can result to the emotional delivery of the lines "I do not care about my job sir, I care so much more about our clients. *googly eyes here*".
  
• Fuck the rules, and the world is to end this year and the Code of Conduct is a conspiracy that intends to manipulate the minds of the free-thinkers in the office.
  

And so, with the help of my great grammatical skills, I shall construct a statement that is as dramatic as Budoy’s story line. With the exclusion of Jessy Mendiola, of course.

So far, the best statement that I've got is this: "I acted, not with the best decision at hand, but with the best intentions for the client's interests."

VICTORY SHALL BE YOURS FOR THE TAKING IN ALL CAPS!

I had the pleasure of being invited as one of the "important" guests at my college friend's wedding this February. In Baguio. In time for the Panagbenga Festival. Which will have lots, and lots, of people with life issues escaping from the troubles of their meaningless lives. Unlike us, we're just there for the wedding. Which is meaningful.

The person in the flower costume is a visual representation of birth, pertaining to a child being splurted out of a vagina. Mermaids and fairies are also visual representations of... well, mermaids and fairies.

(Image taken from http://irpex.blogspot.com/2011/11/panagbenga-2012-slated-on-nov-14.html)

Important because it's a small wedding, we are hand-picked guests, and I may have been possibly tagged as "the guest who will have seconds, or maybe even thirds" on that wedding.

So, I took the liberty of organizing the trip and hotel reservations for me and two of my invited college friends.

I did it because of the fact that I have the most "idle" time, and I know that I am the most organized and responsible among us three. Heck, I may even pass as a qualified Event Organizer for Events.

Two cigarettes at a time: Responsible and organized.

So I checked the reservations at the hotel, which the lovely bride had already taken care of. So that part's done.

Then came the reservation for the bus.

It's been years since I last went to Baguio, and all those trips included family members. This is first time that I'll be there as an adult, outside the comfort of my family and their tight budgets.

And so Victory Liner was the top choice, and I believe there isn't any other liner that's good enough for the trip.

I want to be in all-smiles when I'm receiving water from a good-looking woman. Also, she also pats breasts with water bottles, so that's good enough.

Woman, you got your necktie wrong. But you made up for it for that tight dress, the smile, and the idea that you may not be wearing any pants in this photo, so that's good enough.

(Images taken from victoryliner.com)

I went to the website and completed the forms. I completed the reservations for the "to" and the "back" trip on the same day.

The plan was to go there via a regular air-conditioned bus and go back as a boss via the Deluxe bus.

We want to preserve our freshness upon arriving at Baguio, since it's a wedding and we want to impress people despite the fact that our good appearances are working on a very limited budget. This reason is now defeated by reserving a regular air-conditioned bus for the "to" trip, and not the Deluxe one. This statement is now irrelevant since it's not the point of this story.

A day later, I received the confirmation email.

Confirmation email for "The Greasy Forehead"

I was confused at first, and I tried to analyze the results. Then I read the other email for the other reservation.

The Other Email

It turned out that they had it the other way around. Although I expected the online system to not be perfect, it's a surprise that they had this simple delegation error.

Or maybe, I'm the one that's wrong. Maybe this is the correct reservation records, and I now owe more than 4,000 pesos of bus fare to that liner.

I am now known as Mariano Juancho as the Bus Liner Estafador.

At the end, I had to ignore the reservation since I do not want to ride a bus that's suppose to take me home, but won't.

And when I wake up inside the bus, I never left Baguio at all.

Traffic Update

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

It has been four terrific years

Because I am important and my feelings are important, I have decided that I will be posting my feelings in the English language, because I can never get enough of how important I am to myself.

Things written here will always be the same bullshit that I encounter from time to time, and one day I shall suddenly stop and realize that I have too many blogs that don't even make sense and money.

After the two paragraphs above, I realized that I am starting to sound like a 12-year old girl who just would not stop yapping about some thing that is as unimportant as a terminally ill cockroach (if ever they do get sick).

Which I think would be a good theme for this blog.

Or maybe not. Yes, I contradict myself very often.

Things to do for this blog:
- Make look more decent enough to be visited by friends.
- Post seemingly important things like how my day went and how it got ruined by unsubstantial wrath done by the gods.
- Attempt to be funny, because being funny is WHAT I THINK I am good at.

And last but not the least, the same old school glory of blog-hopping to gather another set of friends.